Restaurant Joke You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. Diet Joke A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie." Girl Joke Two fat girls were walking, when the bus came. One says to another: “ Is it my turn to ride o...
Broom Joke What did mama broom say to baby broom? Time to go to sweep, baby. Milk Joke What gives us milk and has one horn? A milk truck. Snail Joke When can you be sure a snail is lying to you? When he says he’s not home. Talk Joke Q: Which flower is the most talkative? A: Tulips, of course, they can’t keep those lips shut! Baby Joke Q: Why couldn't the pony sing his baby a lullaby? A: She was a little hoarse. Chimney Joke Q: What did the tall chimney say to the small chimney? A: "Hey, you’re way too young to smoke." Monkey Joke How does a monkey ring the doorbell? King Kong! King Kong! Snake Joke How to measure a snake? In inches. Snakes don’t have feet. Teacher Joke Why was the teacher cross-eyed? Her pupils got out of control. Bee Joke Why did the bee have sticky hair? Because he was using a honey-comb. Egg Joke How to make an egg giggle? Tell it a yolk. Bird Joke What bird is the strongest lifter? A crane. Ex Joke What does your ex and slinky have in common...
Crazy Joke Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving? I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play. Cool Joke What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving? The family dog’s nose. Funny Quotes “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” Jon Stewart Thanksgiving Joke What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving? Traditionally, the letter G. Aunt Joke Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner? It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey. Funny Facts In 2001, a seven foot bull shark bit off a boy’s arm. His uncle not only saved the boy, but dived in after the shark, wrestled it to shore where the shark was shot, retrieved the boy’s arm and it was sewn back on in the hospital. Dentist Joke Why did the Donut visit the dentist? To get a new filling. Marriage Joke Why did the bee marry? He’s finally found his honey....
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