Fast Joke What is the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it smashes against the windscreen of a car going 70 mph? Its butt. Selfish Joke He: Honey, I have to tell you something. I have AIDS. She: I know. Bad Joke KID : Dad, what do condoms do? DAD : Son, they prevent questions just like that one. Plane Joke I asked the stewardess to switch my seat on a plane because I was seated right next to a screaming baby. Apparently that's not something they let you do if the baby is your own. Offensive Joke Doctor: “Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant.” Mrs. Smith: “Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant?!” Doctor: “Oh no, but at first glance, it would certainly seem so. Here's our weight loss brochure.” Rude Joke A girl to her boyfriend: “I’m breaking up with you!” - “But why?” - “Because you’re constantly making fun of my weight!” - “Oh come on, honey, don’t be like that! Here, grab these two chairs, sit yourself down on them and we w
Alcoholic Joke How can they call it "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is you stand up and say, ‘My name is John and I am an alcoholic’? Funny Joke Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!" Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!" Peanuts Joke A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some. He asks her after a while why she isn’t having any herself. “Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.” “Why did you buy them at all then?” wonders the driver. “You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!” Shark Joke A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers properly. - “So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And then you go at them full blast and eat them.” “OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right away?” “I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all that shit in their intest
Yo Momma is so fat if she buys a fur coat, a species will be extinct. Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in. Yo Momma so fat she's on both sides the family. Yo Momma so fat she got a parking ticket for standing at a crosswalk. Yo Momma so fat she's skinny. Yo Momma so fat that when she walked by the TV set I missed 3 seasons of Laguna Beach Yo mama so fat, you could slap her butt and ride the waves. Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone. Yo momma so fat she stepped on the scale and it said one person at the time. Yo mama so fat that when I tried to swerve around her I ran out of petrol London Bridge was falling down because yo fat mama walked on it. Yo mummas so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling Godzilla Godzilla. Yo mamma is so fat, when she walked in front of the television, I missed a whole football season. Yo mama is so fat I already got a nightmare Ya mum so fat she
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