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Fat Jokes

Restaurant Joke You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. Diet Joke A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie." Girl Joke Two fat girls were walking, when the bus came. One says to another: “ Is it my turn to ride o...
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Humor

School Joke Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?" Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe? Military Joke A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge." Blonde Joke One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.”Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The rascal called again" One Liner Joke ...
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Funny Jokes Of The Day

Bar Joke Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar. I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!” “No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“ Beer Joke If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster. President Joke I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands. They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack. Now it's "Donald! Duck!" Chicken Joke I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold. Mosquito Joke Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep! Astronaut Joke “I want to be an astronaut!” - “I thought they didn’t send monkeys to space anymore?” - “Exactly, so no cha...
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